Why Emotional Intelligence Is the #1 Skill Teens Need to Thrive

After 12 years in a high school the classroom, I have seen a huge shift when it comes to our Teen's social and relationship skills. 10 years ago, I would come into my classroom having to reign in the conversations just to get class started. Now I walk into a silent classroom where everyone is getting their last few seconds of scrolling on their phones before as a class we put them away.

Before you go and blame the cell phones, keep in mind that our students had cellphone back then.

What has shifted?

Is it a lack of longing for social interaction and feeling connected? I don't think so.

I feel there is less opportunities and skills being taught about how to be confident in yourself and have strong relationships with others. Having conversations with your peers around you pushes you to go out of your comfort zone and connect with another human being. That's honestly vulnerable and scary if you don't have those skills. No wonder many teens are choosing to hide in the safety of their phones.

If I could teach every teen one thing, it would be emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (or known as EQ) is the foundation set of skills that helps every relationship in your life work better—school, friendships, family life, and eventually, jobs and romantic relationships.

In this article, I want to break down what emotional intelligence is, why it matters more than ever for teens, and how the lack of these skills is holding them back in real, measurable ways.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to:

• Understand your own emotions

• Manage how we react to those emotions (especially in stressful moments)

• Recognize how others feel

• Respond with empathy, awareness, and kindness

In simpler terms:
It’s how we handle ourselves and our relationships.

Why Does Learning EQ Skills Matter So Much For Teens?

The teen and tween years are full of big emotions and they experience a series of major identity shifts. Teens are learning who they are, where they belong, and how to deal with the world around them. Without knowing emotional intelligence skills, that process can feel like a rollercoaster. Its overwhelming, isolating, and sometimes very chaotic.

But when teens learn these skills? Everything shifts in their lives!

1. It Improves Mental Health

   Research shows that teens with higher emotional intelligence have lower levels of anxiety, depression, and stress.

   They’re more likely to bounce back from setbacks and feel a stronger sense of self-worth.

2. It Helps at School (Yes, Even with Grades)

   A major study found that emotional intelligence can actually predict academic success better than IQ.

   Why? Because it helps with focus, time management, peer relationships, and managing nerves on days of tests or class presentations.

3. It Builds Better Relationships

   Not just in their dating relationships, but from friends to teachers to their parents. Teens who have strong EQ skills navigate conflict more calmly, communicate more clearly, and build trust more easily. How can that not make any relationship better?

4. It Prepares Them for Real Life

   71% of employers say they value emotional intelligence more than technical skills when hiring for positions. Because in today's age of technology, being a good coworker is more important than what you know. In my honest opinion, we should be teaching EQ skills alongside learning to build résumés and job interviewing skills.

The Cost of Low Emotional Intelligence in Teens Today

We’re living in a time where teens feel more disconnected than ever. Disconnected from themselves, each other, and even the adults in their lives.

Here’s what the data is telling us:

• One in three teens reports feeling persistent sadness or hopelessness, and nearly 1 in 5 has seriously considered suicide (CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 2023)

• Social media and screen time have increased, but emotional coping skills haven’t. Many teens know how to scroll to keep their brains busy, but not how to self-regulate their emotions.

• Only 22% of teens feel they have a trusted adult they can talk to regularly about emotions or mental health struggles. (Search Institute, 2020)

• Students with low emotional intelligence are more likely to experience: Higher levels of school disengagement, increased conflict with peers and difficulty managing frustration or criticism.

There is no good way to say it. Teens are overwhelmed and they’re not equipped with the emotional tools to manage it.

At The Moxie Teacher, everything I teach comes back to this core value:

Emotional intelligence is the foundation for a strong relationship with yourself—and the people around you.

It’s not optional.

So what can you do to help make sure the teen in your life is set up for success? Not only right now and for years to come?

Check out our online courses, called The Moxie Teen, designed just for Teens.